It Doesn't Matter

Another writing exercise. This time with a voice that wouldn't leave my mind, and a point of view I've never tried before. When I first wrote it there was a striking feeling that somehow this was a young Tack, from my previously posted story "Choose Me", but I can't say it with any certainty. I often get into my stories, but this little voice was breaking my heart before I ever got it on paper.

She’s going to come this time, I can feel it. I’ve brought flowers and chocolates for her. I wasn’t sure what kind of chocolate she likes so I bought six boxes. And they’re all for her. Well, if she wants to share I might take one or two. I saved my money all year just so I could buy her somethin’ special. Dad would be furious if he found out. He’d holler and hit me, callin’ me a fool for wastin’ my money. He says she abandoned us, but I know the truth. She was just tired of Dad smackin’ her around all the time, so she left.

‘Course she forgot the most important thing, me, but I understand. I was only seven then, just a little kid, and wouldn’t have been able to make a long trip. But I’m ten now, that’s got to be old enough. She’ll take me with her this time for sure. It doesn’t matter that she hasn’t been back for three years; I know she’s watching, even if it’s someone else doing the watching for her. And I’ve been extra good this year. Made sure I didn’t get into any fights with the other kids, did all my homework, helped around the house, I didn’t even cry when Dad was knockin’ me around. That has to be enough for her to come, right? Doin’ all that must of proved that I’m a good kid that deserves to go with her.

So what if she hasn’t come the last three years? That doesn’t mean anything. She was just findin’ some place for us to go. Can’t just up and leave without some place to go, right? She was probably findin’ a nice house that’ll have a big room all for me where we’ll be safe and it’ll be just the two of us. I know she loves me, even if I can’t remember her sayin’ it. She’s comin’, just you wait. If I close my eyes and count to ten, she’ll be here when I open them. There will be a big grin on her face, her arms will open wide, and she’ll give me the hug I’ve been waitin’ ten years for. Everythin’ will be okay because that’s what she’s supposed to do, make everythin’ better. She’ll tell me how sorry she is for bein’ late and that she’s real proud of me. Then we’ll go to that place she found just for us, we’ll forget all about Dad, and nothin’ bad will ever get us again.

It doesn’t matter that the night has gotten late and I’ve been here since dawn. And I don’t care that Dad’s going to beat me raw when I go home tonight for comin’ here. She’s going to come this time because it’s Mother’s Day, and what mother can abandon her son?